The End
by KellmettRocksThatHat
Summary: Edward never changed Bella and now it's her last day on earth, which she shares with the Cullen's. Much better than summary! AU
1. Last Day On Earth

_I decided to do something completley out of my element and sad. It ddn't come out great but I still was crying at parts. It's so fricking long as well!! Hope you enjoy it and please, please review..._

_Songs i listened to were: Run- Leona Lewis, If tomorrow never comes-Gareth Brooks, Trouble Coldplay, Us against the World-Westlife_

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**_The End_**

**KellmettRocksThatHat**

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**BPOV**

It had come true. The nightmare I had when I was eighteen, where I was withered and beaten, old. Dying. I moaned as I rolled over in the bed, bones groaning in protest as I tried to get up.

I was now eighty three years old and Edward and the other Cullen's were all the same age. I watched them enviously as they stayed with me through out, never aging while I slowly and painfully grew older. It felt like it had simply happened over night. One day I was laughing, loving, living and youthful and now I almost wished for death. I hated the fragile old woman I had become. My face bent into so many creases and winkles that clung to my brittle bones, my sunken cheeks, chapped lips and the mop of white hair that replaced my once chocolate brown.

I ground my teeth together as I grabbed a hold of the bedside table, on Edward's side of the bed. I dragged my body across the silk sheets. Despite my urge to get out of the bed, the one that I was confined to, I smiled a wrinkly little smile, a smirk really.

Memories of my wedding night drifted to the front of my mind and I could almost feel the same butterflies fluttering in my stomach with anticipation and nerves. I shivered slightly at the memory of how our bodies moulded together for the first time of many. I remember every kiss and touch that I was gifted with.

I stayed for a moment reminiscing before giving a sharp jerk to the table, finally getting to the side of the bed. I kicked at the silky sheets, which were wrapped around my emaciated legs, holding me prisoner. I choose again not to call out for help, hating how they looked at me, pitying and unbearably sympathetic. I slowly came up to sit at the side of my bed. Reaching up, I withdrew a pin from my bun at the back of my head and slowly shook out my hair, so it tumbled to my waist.

"Bella? Bella, are you okay? You should have called me," Edward said hurriedly, walking through the bedroom door, looking anxious and worried, a expression I had become accustomed to over the last thirty years, or so. I smiled weakly and picked my head up to look at him.

Even after sixty six years looking at a reincarnation of a long forgotten pagan god of beauty I never could adjust. I was much more than grateful I still had my eyesight and my hearing as many people my age had lost it, along with their minds. His hair was in gorgeous disarray; his features were contorted with worry, a slight pucker on his forehead. My heart gave a unsurprising somersault and my breathing picked up.

"I'm old Edward. Not a child that consists of being babied by everyone," I sighed, my sour mood quickly evaporating into annoyance. Edward smiled sheepishly, flitting to my side.

"I know, love. It's just Alice saw you fall," he whispered, brushing a bang of white hair behind my ear. I let out an uneven breath and blinked back tears, blushing furiously. I knew what he was implying. If I had fallen I would not have gotten up again.

"Edward it's going to happen sooner or later," I stated, caressing his face with a skeletal hand. He shook his head in defiance, not wanting to think about it. I knew he would take it hard, what he would do. I knew what I had to do also and I had told Emmett and Jasper, made them promise me. I smiled deciding not to push it on him.

"I made you breakfast," he murmured, grabbing my hand and pressing it to his lips, kissing them lightly. I shook my head, wondering how he could bear kissing me.

"I'm not hungry," I said, disgust filling me as a thought of a young woman, in her thirties had praised Edward for taking his grandmother out to breakfast once. She was hitting on him, while he scoffed, holding up his hand that was burdened with a golden band. I hadn't gone out since.

"Bella, you need to eat," He said softly, his velvet voice laced with affection and worry.

"I'm not hungry, Edward," I replied in a whisper, too wary and tired to snap or at least lace it with the smallest tint of anger. He pressed his lips together in a hard thin line, stopping himself from arguing it further.

"Would you call Carlisle and Esme? Maybe you could call Jasper and Alice if they aren't busy. Don't bother calling Emmett and Rose. I don't want to ruin they're honeymoon. I want to say goodbye before…..." I was cut off by a vicious cough that spewed through my lips.

"What do mean? Before what exactly, Bella?" Edward demanded as soon as my breathing had returned to normal. I rolled my eyes and watched before his face quickly turned into the burning man on the stake. I couldn't help it. It had become an instinct to protect Edward from all pain, like he protected me from anything that put my life in danger.

Tears spurted though my eyes and I flew into his arms, knowing I would pay later for it. I wrapped my arms around his form and knew he would be crying if he could. I rested my check on his hair and pulled him into my chest.

"Shush, Edward. It's okay," I lied but all I wanted to do was comfort him, conceal his pain, make him happy once more before I left him in this earth, left him with only the protection his family would provide but knowing him he'd exile himself first then get a silly notion before running of to Italy. That's why I had made Emmett and Jasper promise that they would stop him. He deserved to live.

"Edward, listen to me. Whether I'm in this world or another I will always, always love you and never forget that. When you're here long after I'm gone just remember that," I murmured, making sure I emphasised certain words.

Edward looked up and stared helplessly into my eyes. An ancient sadness that I hardly ever saw was now startling. I pressed my lips against his forehead, feeling the hardness, the smooth texture beneath my lips and least important the coldness.

"You, Edward Anthony Mason Cullen, are the single best thing that has ever happened to me. Not because you're the most handsome person I have ever seen nor the fact you are the all time forbidden love or because you're rich," I gave him a watery smile as he watched me, sobs breaking from his chest. His sadness was like millions of daggers stabbing at my heart all at once. I knew he would have tried to hide his raw emotion from me long ago but now I was old, more understanding and worst of all I had no hope left.

"But the fact you have the most beautiful soul I have ever, ever seen. You, you are the reason I'm still fighting, the reason I'll fight until my last breath. You brought me to life sixty six years ago and I have never looked back, not once. Not even a single glance. That is why I'm so proud to call you my husband," Like a child his bottom lip quivered and he flung himself, gently into my arms.

We stayed just holding each other until there was a loud knock on the front door. Edward looked up and gave me a crooked smile not quiet reaching his beautiful butterscotch eyes that were riddled with sadness.

"Come in," he said in an even voice, staring at my confused face and lowly he let out a slight chuckle. I smiled in response and watched as my family burst through my bedroom. Alice was the first to reach me with tears in her eyes, ones that would never fall. She roughly pushed Edward out of the way and wrapped her small granite arms around me.

"Alice," I breathed, my voice thick with sadness and tears but held an underlying hint of happiness at seeing my pixie best friend. She gave me a gentle squeeze, as I let out a sob. That's when it hit. Not only was I loosing Edward when I left but my family.

I nuzzled my face into the crook of her neck and smothered a moan as one of my bones creaked. I repressed a shudder at the coldness of her skin. I realized I wasn't the only one who was sobbing and that we were both shaking.

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"_No," I hissed sourly as Alice pouted in front of me. I glowered at her makeup bag that was __safely tucked under her arm. _

"_Aw, Bella! Don't you want to look pretty for your birthday?" Alice asked with a radiant smile. I pressed my lips together, ignoring her. I was in the Cullen's new house. Edward and the others were out hunting and Alice had pounced at the idea of babysitting me. _

"_No Alice. I don't even want to think about it. For the love of all things good would you want to celebrate your thirtieth when your husband is forever seventeen, but is too stubborn to change me?" I snapped angrily. Alice seemed unfazed by my bad mood. _

_I knew like the other Cullen's, Alice had verbally wrestled with Edward about my immortality. _

"_Please?" She whispered softly, looking up at me through insanely long eyelashes. _

"_Fine," I let out an exasperated sigh before she dragged me into her bathroom. _

"_You're my best friend, Bella," She laughed, kissing me on the cheek _

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I instantly felt a wave of pain and then it was quickly soothed. I looked up over Alice's shoulder and smiled wearily at Jasper, who was leaning uncomfortably up against the wall.

Over many years with me Jasper had finally conquered bloodlust. He was still most tempted but now he rarely noticed. He could be surrounded by humans and act humane. Our relationship had grown vastly over our six decades around each other.

"Hello, soldier," I joked, feeling numb from all pain. His face looked like he had been through hell in the car and long before that. He bottom lip twitched and I winked, laughing dryly.

"I'm sorry, Bella," he said simply, giving me a sympathetic smile.

"It's not you fault, Jas," I sighed, waving my hand, dismissively. "Just keep that promise," I added in a more serious tone.

"With my life," He promises solemnly and I knew I could count on him along with my teddy bear brother-in-law.

"What promise?" Edward asked suddenly, emerging into my sight again to stand beside Jasper. I had also made them promise to block him in case he got a glimpse of their idea.

Alice pulled back and wiped her eyes, she sat to my side on the bed as Carlisle and Esme emerged and them half an hour later Rosalie and Emmett, who had cut their honeymoon short. I hated it. Being centre of attention once gain, causing them all grief once again. Apparently Alice had seen me ask Edward to call them and took it upon herself.

Edward was quiet through it all. He was quiet through the tears and sobs and the endless teasing from Emmett who was also crying, a rare sight to anyone. But I felt it in my bones. My time was drawing to a close. The show was over, and with it my performance remembered.

"Say hello to Charlie and Renee," Alice chuckled, making me smile in remembrance. In truth I was looking forward to some of my afterlife. Seeing my parents was the main one. Old friends and relatives, being reunited with them.

"Of course," I said, smiling up at her and turning to Rosalie who my relationship also had improved with. I counted her now as a friend, a sister and knew she counted me as one also.

I looked over to see Edward exit and knowing him this was proving too real, too much. I swallowed loudly and shifted out from Alice and Esme's arms.

"Could you guys give me some time? And get Edward. I want him. I need him with me," I said slowly, deliberate. Emmett nodded and bumped his large hand softly against my fragile one, gave me a hug and a kiss. Promising to see me again soon but I knew I would never see his face again, hear him joke or watch him fight. Esme kissed me and hugged my narrow shoulders, along with Carlisle, Rosalie, Jasper but Alice lingered until last.

"I'll never see you again," she whispered, averting her eyes from my crumpled face. I shook my head, watching as my old friend for the first time showed her old age. I watched as she simply broke down in front of me.

"I'll be watching over you, Ali," I chuckled, making her grimace at my accepting state.

"Whenever you go shopping with Rose or Esme I'll be there whispering for you to pick out the most ugly thing in the store," I said, my voice composed but even to my own ears it had too much off a forced edge to it.

"Don't say goodbye," she swallowed loudly, getting up. I nodded, knowing it would prove too much for both of us. She blew a kiss and turned to walk for the door. I watched her helplessly with tears in my eyes as she stopped in the doorway.

"You'll always be my best friend, Bella, always" She whispered until flitting out of the room.

***

"I didn't think you'd come," I stated, never opening my eyes as I lied back down, resting my tired heavy head on the feather soft pillows. The bed on the other side of me sunk and my eyes fluttered open.

"I always come, Bella," he whispered in my ear, kissing my temple. I smiled so much even at the sincerity of his words that my mouth hurt from the light skin being stretched too far over the bone.

"Bella, I love you," he said in a low voice that made my head squeeze uncomfortably. I laughed. The sound was delicate, so breakable. He pulled me up so I was lying across his chest, my arms draped across his torso.

"Just like when we were eighteen," I cried mournfully. He chuckled in response, wiping the tears away with his thumb.

"Charlie is going to wake up soon," he whispered making my giggle and for one moment I could forget, forget appending death. I wanted to. I wanted to be eighteen again, enjoying my young love, old friends, Angela and Mike, Jessica and Eric, who had long ago passed on.

"I love you Edward," I sobbed and he smiled back in response. I could see right then and there. He had finally accepted it and wished he had chosen to change me when I had asked to.

He began to hum my lullaby in my ear, the sound soothing other than some parts where his beautiful voice broke in sadness. I looked up into his eyes and smiled for the last time, took a look at his face for the last time, listened to him for the last time. I leaned back and took a large breath, my slowly heartbeat ringing painfully loud in my ear.

"I love you more, my stupid lamb," Was the last thing I heard before I closed my eyes and fell asleep for the last time being pulled into an unfamiliar darkness.

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**Terrible? REVIEW!**

**KellmettRocksThatHat**

**xxxx**


	2. Heaven Isn't Heaven Without You

**PLease review. Thanks to the great response I put up this chapter and if I get another good response who knows...REVIEW**

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When I was four years old I told my mother heaven was in outer space. That there was large pearly golden gates and saint Peter had a checklist like Santa to see if you were naughty or nice and if you were nice you got into heaven and if you were naughty..you fell.

But I was wrong. There was no stairs up or down. There was no puffy clouds or pearly gates. Hell, there wasn't even a checklist. I was still there though, much to my bewilderment. I was in heaven. I could feel myself and think for myself yet there was no head to think with nor a body to feel with.

There was just..air. I could feel myself floating, drifting, flying. It was nice but they're was something tugging so sharp and painful that I wanted to cry out but I had no voice, no lips, no mouth. Something tugging me down, out of heaven. But it wasn't heaven even if I wished it. I was surrounded by people, no, souls all chattering, communicating with thoughts. Happily connected but I didn't fit. I never could, not without him.

_Are you okay Bella? _Angela's soft voice floated. I didn't want to use my voice or thoughts just nod but I had no head to do so.

No.

_Yeah, thanks. _I answered simply and drifted away from her, hating the feel of nothing but lightness of happiness but I recoiled from it, and it shun me. I didn't deserve it. I wanted the anguish the pain, the suffering, the heartbreak.

I wanted to die. To cease to exist all together. To vanish and simply fade into the darkness because I felt the aching beat of my non existing heart in my being. I felt the stinging tears burning my eyes, though I had none. I felt the absence of his touch though I should have forgotten; because we were simply to parts of a whole and I wanted him.

I wanted to cry, to call out to him. I wanted Emmett and Jasper to slip up and...I stopped myself there. No, Edward deserves to live. Edward needs to live even if I had undergo an eternity of pain and heartbreak.

When I woke up from the last life. I was deeply confused, I no longer had my body, young nor old. I was simply a soul, silver, wormlike but incredibly beautiful, hearing and seeing. Moving and thinking. The worst; feeling.

Mom and Dad, Phil and Grandma Rose and friends I had encountered from my previous life were the first thing I saw..heard. They were singing, seeing me. Whereas I was motionless. I thought the pain would be numbed but it was like a dagger.

I wasn't sure how long I was..gone. It could have been anything. Hours, days, years I didn't know. It just felt like an eternity

_Hello, Bella _My grandmothers voice said softly. I turned to her, well at least I think I turned to him. I wasn't exactly which side was my back or my front.

_Hey Grandma. _We lapsed into a silence after that. I could almost feel her uncomfortable aura and felt mine tinge with sadness.

_You miss him. You want to go back. _It wasn't an accusation merely a statement of the truest fact. I didn't answer. No one was oblivious to my pain.

_Bella. My beautiful, sweet, granddaughter. We are happy here. God made heaven so we would feel it a haven, but you are not, you mourn and weep. You aren't happy here. There for this is not your heaven. God loves us and for each creates the same heaven but some do not consider it heaven. Some consider it almost like hell..._

_God then grants us _our _personal heaven. Whether it is to go to a dreamlike state or a place like our previous life. And for some it is closer to our love ones. Like you. We can't go back to life but some can be reborn after a good deed. Then, there are some who are sent to purgatory, watching over there loved ones. I believe I used to call them guardian angels. Flickering in and out from the land of the living and the land of the dead. _

I suppose I would be grinning now, singing even. Jumping up and down, laughing at this new information. But surely it wasn't real. Surely it was a cruel trick that was dangling dangerously above my head and as soon as I reached it, it would be snatched away.

_How? _It breezed from me before I could register it. The aching pounded the non existing heart, sharpened the mind, quickened the speech, bringing one name to mind. Edward. My lion, my husband, my escape from the dark brightness which was my personal blasphemy

_If I am right you feel there is a tug. A strong pull, right? Just don't fight it and the next time you open your eyes...you will be in a body and you'll walk among them but unseen. _

I was about to let go but with the last bit of restraint I controlled I thanked her, told her I loved her and told her to pass the message to my parents, who I could face.

With the sudden pull, tearing me in half I screeched.

***

This time I heard it. Not from my thoughts but with ears, and the sound echoing of my lips. I realized I was in darkness and slowly eyelids opened and I grasped the lights pouring into them. The rain falling around me heavy and a figure broken on the ground mere yards from

I gasped, looking around me frantically. I was in a forest. It was familiar. Forks. I reached out to touch a tree beside me but stopped, wide eyed as I spotted my hand reaching for it. I looked down and saw a body. Not my old body but a young eighteen year old Bella.

I brushed a bang behind my ear, reaching to touch the tree again but my hand didn't connect it slipped into it, reemerging when I pulled it back with a screech.

The form stirred, causing me to look at it, with wondering eyes. That's when I spotted the bronze head, sticking to the head with the wetness. The eyes empty, golden pools. The pale complexion, somehow looking paler. The clothes torn and ripped. The shirt missing buttons and the pants ripped from the knee to the waist line. Bare feet covered in soggy mud. The sodden hair falling into his dead, motionless eyes as he stared straight through me. He looked so different but yet exactly the same. He was still the most handsome thing I had every seen but now it looked like he was here but not exactly. A shell, but he spirit.

"Who's there," He roared, his voice enraged but his features blank; expressionless. My brow furrowed and my heart leaped and ached at the same time. Edward was here, he was alive. Perhaps he was a beautiful mirage but I would take it for the image. But my heart ached as I saw his tormented face. It wasn't sad or angry. It was..dead, vacant, empty.

"Edward," I cried running towards him, arms extended silver tears streaming from the eyes I know had again. He didn't move, his face never changed as I ran at him, with the final sprint. I stopped in front of him, wrapping my arms around his waist but they went through him and he never changed.

I gasped, looking at my trembling hands. Edward's bottom lip tucked itself neatly under his blinding front row of teeth and he let out a pained cry. "Edward? Edward!" I screamed but he never flinched.

That's when I understood. I pieced it together and I let out a strangled cry. He cried and sunk to his knees, his pain far different from my own as he didn't realize I slowly lying onto his back and curling up into the fetal position, whimpering one thing over and over again. My name.

"No, no, no!" I cried, shouting falling to my knees in front of him, eyes wide tears rolling down my cheeks as I tried to clasp onto him but each time my hands sunk through him.

He lay there for days, the Cullen's coming often to check on him but he growled and snarled and cried and wept, pleading to be left alone. I stayed there, never leaving, never even being seen. Leaning against the old oak tree were we had carved our initials and posed by for our wedding. I didn't put weight into it knowing I would fall into it otherwise.

Though my pain was great, mounted with his the joy of being there, seeing him outweighed it. On the third day I got onto my knees and curled up beside him, never touching but leaving trails of fingertips on his marble skin. I told him not to cry but he didn't here. I cried with him from joy and distraught but he never saw.

I leaned in and whispered in his ear, feeling all traces of hope of ever being spoken directly to again vanish.

"Stop crying my sick, masochist lion. I love you and I am here," I realized that even know when I was surrounded by pain I was still in heaven. I was with Edward and he would get better, eventually and I would watch over him. He stiffened, sniffling. His voice quivered and broke, thick with tears.

"Bella?"


	3. Intervention

_Okay It's half one in the morning. I'm exhausted in wrote this up in like two hours and am the only remaining person still conscious in my house. I'm the youngest too! If anyone catches me I'm in for it but I got a hundred bloody reviews! Thanks you all so much... shall i continue or will I be cruel...hmm..Sit down exams coming up, so to any one. Good Luck!_

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_**Intervention**_

_KellmettRocksThatHat_

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I stood in the middle of Carlisle's office, books spread over the wooden desk situated in the corner of the room taken out from the big shelves situated on each wall full with thick books some covered in a layer of dust and others obviously new. Medical diaries and books, journals and some biographies centuries old.

Edward stood meters from me pacing anxiously, running a hand through his hair while Carlisle stood behind the desk, his beautiful face somehow aged, weary and his golden eyes filled with a broken look directed at his son, flitting backwards and forwards as he stared at him intently, following his movements.

The ticking of the clock was the only sound in the room apart from the slight creaks under Edwards soft footsteps. I crossed my arms watching as Carlisle opened and snapped it shut quickly. A sharp gust of wind whistled through is teeth.

"Edward," He begun dubiously, leaning forward onto the desk and gripping the corners tightly his knuckles turning white. I tucked my bottom lip under my teeth and growled agitatedly.

Edward had heard me but only that once. No matter how many times I ran through him and screamed out his name he didn't even flinch. He flitted back to the house a look of pure confusion on his face, a sparkle of recognition in his beautiful eyes as he requested to speak to Carlisle ignore the families gaping yet sympathetic looks and words of comfort.

No one could hear me or see though. So, frustrated I grudged up the stairs after the two ignoring the penetrating gazes that burned through me and into the back of the auburn head of hair.

"Carlisle I heard her. I'm not hearing voices," He said firmly. Carlisle's lips pursed and I walked up beside Edward.

"He's right," I whispered, pushing my hand up to his head reading to brush a strand of hair behind his ear when my fingers slipped through. I let out a strangled choked noise and quickly withdrew my hand and backed into the corner of the room.

"Edward I know you miss Bella but we all do. She was my daughter and I loved her like one and Alice and the others? She was their sister," He said calmly, his features softening slightly. Edward stopped and whipped his head around quickly.

"She was my wife," He roared, his eyes glistening and he blinked several times against the suddenly dryness of his eyes the closest thing he would ever have to crying. His jaw clenched and unclenched and his lips pressed into a tight line. Carlisle sighed and nodded solemnly.

"Carlisle, please believe me. I'm not hearing her voice in my head for a minute I could have sworn I smelt the same freesia!" Carlisle eyes tightened and he sat at his chair and he bit the bottom lip entwining his fingers together.

"Do you believe me?" In a flick of a switch had become a pleading boy begging for his fathers acceptance but I saw by the look in Carlisle's eyes he wouldn't get it and I was sure Edward saw it to but just refused to register it. A wave of sorrow washed over me, sweeping me under as I saw the hurt flash across Edward's head.

"I believe that you believe you heard Bella," He murmured softly and sighed as Edward hunched over his features screwing up and his turned on his heel and walked out of the room. I left Carlisle with a parting glance begging him to see me or at least believe Edward that he heard me.

Edward walked into his room and just before he slammed the door I ducked his arm. I could have just walked through him but it still hurt me to know that we were now even further that equals that I had ever anticipated.

His bedroom was untidy, the bed-my bed- was unmade and the railing at the sides were torn from the sides and were laying in the far corning, dented and slightly crushed. His remaining clothes were scattered around the room with some of mine the only thing that wasn't messed was his music at that I felt to an extent relieved.

He walked over and flopped onto the bed, pulling the covers up to his nose and inhaling deeply. I sat down on the edge of the bed, thankfully not sinking through and glowered out the window where the torrential rain pattered down and slid off of the window.

There was a gentle rapping at the door, growing in volume and coming quickly very irritating. Edward growled menacing and I cringed as Alice walked through the door. Her once happy posture had deteriorated into a slow, hunched over form with a quick walk, which was unusual from her familiar skip.

"Hello, Edward," She said slowly, standing above the bed.

"Go away," He snarled darkly. She didn't flinch at the tone of his voice but I did. She shook her head and stood stubbornly above him.

"Go away," He roared, the pillow muffling his voice only a little. He didn't notice Emmett and Jasper waltzing in with Rosalie not far behind them. Convention, was the first thing that sprung to mind.

I stood up and placed myself protectively at Edward's side.

"No," I shouted angrily, desperately, pleadingly. I suddenly noticed Esme and Carlisle loitering at the door dark looks on their faces, which looked so worn.

"Edward, Bella's gone," Rosalie said softly and I scowled venomously at her as she stepped forward. She was hurting him, they were all hurting him. Couldn't they see? He let out a choked cry and got to his feet, the movement so swift I barely saw it.

"Go away," He growled dangerously, getting into a stance. Emmett stared coolly at his brother. He slowly shook his head and I felt a shift in the atmosphere but Edward didn't relax one bit.

"No, Edward," Alice said softly, her golden eyes hardening in defiance yet her face displayed sadness.

A ferocious growl exploded and then the sound of boulders clashing. I looked up from under my hands and saw Edward wrestling with Emmett, punching him forcedly. I went to pull him back but nothing happened.

"Get out," He repeated over and over screaming it at his brother until the others pulled him off of him and he crumpled at Alice's waist. He got to his knees and she stiffened, running her fingers through his hair and he buried his head in her waist, sobbing dryly. Her expression was blank as the others watched on and I sobbed, realizing the pain I had caused him.

Was it a mistake to come back? To have an ounce of happiness at his expensive. I wished I could be the one to comfort him, for him to grief and mourn over me but the latter wasn't possible.

I fell to my knees and crawled over to him, not quiet touching him but skimming the surface. I brought my lips beside his ear.

"I am here. I love you, I'll be here as long as you need me." I whispered, placing a peck on his temple and watched as he stiffened. The other noticed and shot fluttering glances at him.

"What's wrong, Edward," Emmett asked, walking over to his brother and crouching beside him, placing a firm hand on his shoulder. He simply shook his head and sobbed more into Alice's chest before he got to his feet unsteadily.

There was a high pitched ring from down stairs and suddenly Esme was gone from the room. She returned moments later. Her face twisted in concern.

"It was Tanya. They're coming,"


	4. Breathe Me

_Hey! I'm actually kind of happy with this chapter. Let's just say good day means depressing, angsty chapter goodness! Sorry I haven't updated I'm trying to update each one of my stories before Tuesday so far this is my second....It's not finished I'm changing that thing now I was listening to Breathe Me when I wrote this, so chapter name =] A really good song everyone needs to check out is Savin' Me Nickleback, Show Me What I'm Looking For Carolina Liar and Stand In The Rain by Superchick!! Anyone have _**BOOK **_recommendations??

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_Breath Me _

_KellmettRocksThatHat  
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**BPOV**

I wasn't surprised by the immediate arrival of the practical kin coven. However, I was surprised by the somberness of their perfect faces. Edward had stayed in his bedroom as Carlisle ushered them in with a brusque smile.

Esme and the others were gathered in the living room each with grave features even Emmett when he tried to comment on the uneasy atmosphere his voice fell flat and Rosalie patted his shoulder, letting a ghost of her old smile show. _Not enough. _

I filtered through the walls, eventually settling in Edward's bedroom. He sat on the couch, staring with hard cold eyes at the clock on the wall. I bit my lip and folded my arms across my chest as I heard Tanya and the others settle in as the other Cullen's greeted them.

As much as I appreciated them coming to pay condolences and grief my death I hated the tinkering feeling I always got when I was close to Tanya. When Edward and I married I met Tanya, Kate and Carmen and Eleazar. It was small period of time later that I met Irina.

Although at first it was awkward they soon came comfortable around my scent. Kate and I grew close even as I grew older so I wasn't surprised to see her face to see her eyes void of the livid glisten then usually shone through.

Tanya and I had a mutual understanding and therefore we chatted freely and she often visited me when I was younger, Kate always tagging along.

Carmen and Eleazar. I had grown to see them like Edward and I. We were all halves to one person and though Eleazar hunted with Emmett and Edward, leaving Carmen with me sometimes I could always tell her head wasn't in the current conversation. Then again mine wasn't either.

Irina had really never found a new mate but said she liked being single. I knew she hated it.

I wondered whether I should flit down to see them but a look at Edward across from me and that thought was quickly shut down. There were gentle murmurs beneath me that I could easily hear if I concentrated but there was only one thing grabbing my attention.

Edward was always so guarded. So, calm and collected; controlled. It frightened me to see him like this. Shattered, lonely. Broken. Edward always acted like the stubborn one hundred year old that I loved but now?

His eyes fluttered shut, his long eyelashes rested on his cheekbones and a strangled whimper echoed through pale lips. I swallowed the scream that suddenly burned in my throat and walked over to him.

I kneeled down, resting my arms on his legs, never hinting at putting weight on them. I rose a shaking hand to his face and trailed my finger tips along his features never quite touching him but my fingers sizzled at the electric current jolting through them.

"So silly," I mused to myself. Another whimper and I flinched away involuntary. So much pain that I couldn't heal. Pain, I had caused. Everyone else was hurting too but the pain was surrounding my widow and helping him would help the others.

"I love you. We're going to get through this" I chanted but of course he didn't hear me and soon I was screaming it with conviction that would be wasted. I hadn't notice the tears that washed down my face as I belted my hands through his feet.

"I love you. I love you. I love you. I love..I..I, " I croaked and fell to the floor and I cried, cried for all I had lost, cried for sadness and joy and my own selfishness, cried for Edward and Alice and Emmett and Mom and Dad.

Why had I bothered coming here? Was it so I could feed my soul or did I always want to inflict pain among myself and others. I lifted myself back to my feet and walked to the window.

Raining.

"What else," I said softly and let myself fall back, closing my eyes and letting go. I was empty. Air rushed by me and I snapped my eyes open, landing on my feet downstairs in the living room.

"Kate? Are you alright?" Esme asked. She was sitting in between Irina and Tanya, her head in her hands, her blonde hair was in a messy pony tail but even this surprised me. She loved having her hair down, flowing out, blowing in the breeze or cascading down in her back.

A muffled 'yes' was all she got for a moment and then she looked up. Her eyes were red, which one would think was from crying but I knew it was from rubbing the tears, so uncomfortable in her golden eyes that would never fall.

Tanya rubbed her back soothingly and Carlisle gave a sympathetic smile.

Tanya rose to her feet and I noticed her clothes for the first time. Baggy sweat pants and a string top with a ratty sweater and her hair in a braid at the back of her hair, running down her back.

"I think I'll go and see how Edward is doing," She said delicately. Eleazar nodded and Kate got to her feet, her hand now entwined in Irina's tugged her up.

"We'll go too," But her sister shook her head, giving her a tight smile.

"No. If you don't mind too much, dear sister and Carlisle I would like to speak to Edward alone," Reluctantly Kate nodded and fell back into her position on the couch, dragging Irina down with her.

She turned for the stairs but Carlisle interceded her next step, stepping out and placing a hand on her shoulder. She turned her head and rose a perfect eyebrow.

"Be cautious with your words, Tanya. There's no man up there. There's only a broken boy who needs to be fixed. Please?" She smiled and nodded and Carlisle dropped his hand, letting it fall back to his side as he sat down beside Esme, who quickly curled into his side.

Instead of flitting up the stairs she took each step with deliberation and one look at her face I saw the conversation burning into place already.

I got to the room before her and scrutinized Edward because his face never changed at the three subtle knocks on his door before Tanya slowly walked in, stopping to close the door behind her and stopped in front of Edward.

"Hi, Edward,"

No response.

"Edward, I'm sorry about Bella,"

A flinch.

"I know its hard but your going to get over this,"

A snap. His eyes narrowed and his sight focused murderously on her.

"Are you implying I'll simply 'get over' Bella? Because if you are Tanya leave right now," A weak hiss. She stepped through me and sat down beside Edward. I saw him stiffen, uncomfortable, and a pang of hurt smashed her face into a million pieces before she smiled.

"Of course not. I liked Bella, Kate loved her like another sister and you loved her, all of you loved her. She'll never, ever be forgotten I know that. But don't you think Esme and Carlisle and the others have lost enough without losing you too?" She was guilt tripping him into recovering. I hissed but I knew she was right.

"They had years to prepare for it," He snapped but there was an unsure edge to his voice, an unguarded area.

"No one can prepare for death. Not even you and you knew Bella's death was inevitable from the time you refused to change her," He snarled low and looked at her again with cruel eyes.

"Its true," She had crossed the line.

"I know you don't want to hear this but no one else will man up and I'm sorry I have to do it but I love you Edward and I'm going to get you better, we all love you,"

Silence again, weighing down on them like an angry fist.

"Have you made arrangements for her cremation?" She asked softly and this she time she didn't look up as he got to his feet and sneered down at her through narrowed slits, his golden eyes burning like a brilliant fire in anger as he growled.

"None of your damn well business," He would feel bad for raising his voice to her later but I saw her nod. She bowed her head and her lips twitched.

"I've met Edward the smart-aleck, the gentleman, the vampire and the lover, the husband and the Edward I thought, you know, one day could be my mate, before Bella, of course. But I have never met Edward the selfish idiot before and I'm sure Bella never did but if she saw you now she would hate what your becoming. That is for sure," He looked as if he had been punched in the gut and was about to crumble beneath her horrible, harsh words.

"Get out," He roared in a shattered tone, grief sinking its teeth into it and sadness caressing it like a mother would do for a child.

"No,"

He lunged. But he wouldn't hurt her even in his worst moment. I knew Edward and he wasn't that person and I was correct. He tried to sweep her away towards the door but she wrestled him to the ground, climbing on top of him and pinning his hands to the ground.

"Get off of me," He screamed and she shook her head.

I stood by the self, watching as the anger bubbled inside me. _Did she seriously think she was helping? Hurting him? Pressurizing him into forgetting me? He's so broken now how can he be fixed? _You can. _How? By him getting assaulted and only getting him to isolate himself more? _Help him. _I'm going to heal him, no matter what. _Now.

Anger swept over me like an almightily wave and I lashed out, slapping the vase on his self. It twirled through the air and made contact with the wall opposite me, breaking the glass into a million pieces and water dripped down the wall marking its presence.

My chest heaved, my breaths came in uneven pants and I screamed. They looked up, eyes wide and laid their eyes on the glass shards and looked around for the sudden scream. There was a hitch from the conversation down stairs and I heard them come up the stairs.

Tanya's face was horror stricken as she clambered off Edward and gazed around, while the new arrivals surrounded her, asking questions. Edward looked ecstatic with relief and that crooked smile graced his face as he got to his feet and looked around.

"Bella," It wasn't a question any more.

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